NLP Central London and Reading  or call  07807 540142

Hello, I’m Matthew Exell and thank you for visiting my site. It is so important to find the right coach, life coach and the right person to help you, so now I will help to provide you with all the right information that you will need to make that decision – that I can help you now!
With over 8 years experience of helping people through many different issues and problems, I’m a fully qualified, insured and regulated neuro-linguistic programming Coach and a master NLP practitioner, a practitioner of EFT – the emotional freedom technique and cognitive hypnotherapist.

Life coaching enables you to discover the life you desire by exploring your dreams, goals, desires, possibilities, your best possible future … And finding the best way to achieve this.

Past, Present, Future – Coaching, Hypnotherapy and NLP – Explained

Yes, I do use hypnotherapy, NLP and life coaching and often in combination. It’s best to try to help the past, present and future – so to think differently about the past, address the present and look and feel differently about the future. Hypnotherapy and NLP (and counselling deal with the past), Hypnosis, coaching and NLP are both great with coping techniques and addressing the present; and hypnosis, NLP and Life Coaching, and particularly coaching are good the future

So What is NLP? – NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Neuro – refers to the way we gather information from the outside world with our five senses. It is accepted that we experience the world through the neurological processes of our five senses. We then make sense of that information within our mind and brain and act on it.

Linguistic – the study of language, refers to the way we make sense of that information by organising it into the structure of language. We use language to order our thoughts and behaviour; and to communicate with others.

Programming – is a way of controlling something. In this case it refers to the way our interpretations of the world control our actions, choices and behaviours in day-to-day life. NLP teaches us that by changing how we make sense of the world, we can then adjust our behaviours and actions in order to make the most of ourselves and our lives.

By harnessing the power of language, NLP-trained life coaches can break down the mental barriers we all unknowingly create for ourselves over time and habit. NLP is considered by many to be one of the most useful and accessible tools to come from modern psychology. NLP can assist stress management, improve empathy and communication skills, resolve destructive relationship patterns and encourage clients to move out of their comfort zones towards fuller, happier, and infinitely more satisfying lives.

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NLP has become popular because it is future-focused. It explores future possibilities and solutions, rather than encouraging you to dig up your past. NLP is about adding choices and widening perceptions rather than dwelling for too long on the problems

How can NLP help?

Because it is essentially a tool-kit for the mind, NLP can help all areas of life. It is particularly effective for improving the following situations:

Anxiety and Stress

The problem with anxiety is that it can often feel irrational – you know you shouldn’t feel anxious, you might even know you don’t need to feel anxious, but you do. So how can you possibly stop it?

NLP is an effective method for fighting feelings of stress and anxiety because it identifies the thought patterns that lead to those feelings. As soon as these unconscious thought patterns are bought out into the light and made conscious, they can be challenged.

Business and Careers

Because NLP is an excellent tool for understanding people, it is immediately applicable to business. By learning techniques from your life coach, you will be able to improve how you communicate, empathise and negotiate with your colleagues, business partners, employees and bosses. 

Arts, Performance and Creativity

Writer’s or ‘artist’s block’ is something that affects most creative spirits at some point. Sometimes, it simply becomes impossible to adequately express what you want to express. An NLP session could be used to identify what is creating that block. Your life coach may develop exercises for you to complete, designed to unleash and channel the energy you’ve been storing up.

Fears and Phobias

Like with anxiety and stress, NLP is great for revealing the thought processes behind what we might consider ‘irrational’ behaviour. Really, no behaviour is completely irrational – we are products of our pasts and something along the way will have kick-started those fears. NLP can help to change the thoughts and feelings we have about the things that scare us so that we no longer have to avoid them. 

Health, Healing and Wellbeing

One of the most important ideas underpinning NLP is that the mind and body are closely and intricately connected. By improving the way we approach and think about the world, we can effect the health and wellbeing of our bodies.


Relationships are based on how we communicate with each other. How we communicate depends on the kind of people we are and the ways we view the world. We all have what we might consider ‘bad character traits’ that have the unfortunate habit of ruining relationships. This could include being argumentative, distrustful, jealous, insecure and so on. NLP can help you become more aware of how you communicate. It can help you to understand that other people might have different views of the world and that your way of thinking is not necessarily right. Developing empathy skills can make it easier to build strong and lasting relationships – whether they be with friends, family members, or lovers.

Sport Performance, Hobbies and Past-times 

NLP is a fantastic tool when it comes to sport. It’s so easy to give up when we become exhausted or feel like we can’t go on anymore. To really excel in sport, athletes must be able to push through these feelings with incredibly high levels of focus and motivation. NLP can help to break down the mental blocks that are so easy to develop when our bodies become exhausted. To get good results, it is essential to have confidence, to know you can do something and to focus your mind on achieving that. NLP helps nurture all of these qualities in order to bring sports-people to new levels of personal excellence.

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What to expect from NLP sessions:

1. You will be asked to state what you want to changes and differnces and what problems you want to overcome. We will work towards the positives which you want to achieve, I work on focused based results. 

2. I will work through different exercises, ideas and techniques with you in order to piece together your map of the world and introduce new thought processes in order to widen your boundaries and territories and your life possibilties.

3. I will probably give you a few exercises and tasks to take away with you and practice. This will help you to take responsibilty for making changes and differences.

4. In your next session, you will be asked to report any changes you’ve noticed and then, when you’re ready, move on to the next change you want to make.

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Other Key Principals of NLP Include:

1. Subjectivity – at the heart of NLP and life; lies the understanding that each one of us sees the world in a different light. Basically 2 different people can go through the same expereince, but will see, think, feel and expereince it differently 

2. Maps – our own worlds are made of boundaries and territories that our life experiences draw out for us – (the map is not the teriritor, the menu is not the meal!). 

A ‘map’ is only a representation of a place, not the place itself. NLP uses the idea of the map to illustrate how we can only ever view our own representations of the world, and not the world itself. Understanding that we all see a different version of the world is fundamental to NLP. 

3 .Language – we have the power to shift and redraw those boundaries using our ‘control systems’, the most influential of which is language and that we can, to some extent, reshape and redraw our own maps by ‘reprogramming’ ourselves. And, yes we can all do that – its just sometimes it just takes some assistance with this!

4. Limiting Beliefs:

• Worthlessness

• Hopelessness

• Helplessness.

By thinking thoughts such as: ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘other people are better than me’, you set yourself up for failure. Taking a defeatist attitude can really limit your experiences and your accomplishments.

I can help you uncover these limiting beliefs by asking the following questions:

  • Why do you feel undeserving of happiness or success?
  • Why can’t you succeed?
  • What is preventing you from succeeding?

These questions can help to reveal the thoughts and feelings that cause the limiting beliefs. A life coach will then start to explore and challenge these limiting beliefs in a bid to help transform them.

NLP – a brief History of and some Background

Developed in 1972 by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. Both were enrolled at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Grinder was an Assistant Professor of linguistics and Bandler was a psychology undergraduate.

NLP was inspired by Fritz Perls – the psychotherapist who developed Gestalt therapy, Virginia Satir – dubbed the ‘Mother of Family Therapy’ and by Milton Erickson – the first therapist to use hypnosis for medical purposes. Bandler and Grinder wanted to know: what made these three therapists so good at improving the lives of their clients?

NLP was also massive inspired by Gregory Bateson – a British academic famed for his contribution to cybernetics which is the science concerned with patterns of communication within natural and mechanical systems and epistemology (the study of knowledge). Bateson’s influence was thought to drive Bandler and Grinder’s research towards the idea that we can ‘reprogramme’ our minds.

We should all aspire to the betterment of ourselves and to ‘live’ or to ‘follow our dreams’; and doing the things we want to do in life can at times can seem impossible. We can see others doing those things but we hold ourselves back for some reason. This can be described as a limiting belief of either worthlessness, hopelessness and helplessness.

Sometimes that can be because we feel that the opportunities never arise for us – that its happens to others but never us; maybe obligations and various responsibilities hold us back, maybe practicalities always stop us at the last moment. It could also be because we don’t or aren’t noticing those opportunities or are allowing some unneccesary burdens to hinder us. (positive selfishness, please ask about this concept) 

A lifetime of routine and habit can make it difficult to break out of the familiar comfort-zone that so many of us slip into without even knowing it. NLP helps us to realise that more often than not, it’s not the world or our busy lifestyles holding us back – it’s ourselves

Some information on NLP on Wikipedia – HERE

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